That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
