So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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