I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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