it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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