is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
