well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
