Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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