I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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