I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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