Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
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Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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