is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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