I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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