Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize