So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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