quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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