Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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