Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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