just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
