Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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