You work out of a Hotel?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
