i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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