dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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