The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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