Girls should come with a carfax report
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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