he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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