Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
