Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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