$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
