Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
