so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
