Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't want my vagina anymore.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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