Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
