I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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