I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
