Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
They are going to name an STD after you.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
