batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
