Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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