I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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