Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
