I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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