i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
