ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
