So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
