It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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