She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
