I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
