its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
