Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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