The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
