Do you still have your period?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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