those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
