Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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