I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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