five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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