I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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