I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
