I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
All I want is dick and wine.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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