Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
