You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
