I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
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please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
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This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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