My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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