Soap is not a condiment
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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