The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Found your dick twin last night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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