dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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