imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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