Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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