there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
