I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
