Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
